Every morning begins the same way—with coffee. Not just any coffee, but a cup prepared following a meticulous routine that my brother Denny oversees: pour, add milk, stir, taste, microwave, and taste once more. Then, I carry it to Denny’s “Happy Place”—a wooden Amish glider nestled under the trees. This ritual, repeated countless times throughout the day, is more than just about coffee. It’s about unconditional love and sacrificial caretaking.
The Face of Special Needs Love
Denny entered the world with severe physical and mental disabilities. He was the only one of four deformed infants born within weeks of each other to survive. Years later, my mom would learn that excessive environmental radiation was likely to blame.
Denny communicates with less than fifteen words, but his needs speak volumes. His legs, supported by braces, make each step a conscious effort. His hands, with surgically modified fingers, allow him to perform the basic task of pinching items between two fingers—a fork woven through his fingers becomes a tool for eating. Every aspect of his daily routine requires assistance—from eating and drinking to dressing and personal care—a constant reminder of the depth of dependence and care that true love sometimes demands.
“Love is patient, love is kind . . . it does not seek its own benefit” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5).
These familiar words take on new meaning when lived out in the daily rhythms of caregiving. Like Christ’s love for us, this care isn’t earned through performance or reciprocity. It’s given freely, motivated by love.
Unconditional Love: The Heart of God
Jesus demonstrated unconditional love throughout his ministry. When he encountered those society deemed “less than”—the disabled, the sick, the outcasts—he didn’t measure their worth by their ability to contribute or respond. Instead, he saw their inherent value as children of God. He touched the untouchable, healed the hopeless, and loved the unlovable.
Consider the man at the pool of Bethesda (John 5:1-15), who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. Jesus didn’t require him to prove his worth or even demonstrate his faith. He simply asked, “Do you want to be made well?” This mirrors the daily questions we ask in caregiving—not “Do you deserve this?” but “What do you need?”
The profound truth I’ve learned through caring for Denny is that God’s love operates the same way. Romans 5:8 tells us, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” We didn’t earn it. We couldn’t earn it. Yet he gave everything.
Love in Action: Sacred Sacrifices
When I’m filling the third pot of coffee for the day, or patiently working through Denny’s daily routines, I’m reminded of how God loves me—not based on my performance, not measuring my productivity, not waiting for me to prove myself worthy. It is enough to answer his call to serve.
Perhaps the most powerful parallel comes in understanding sacrifice. Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice, experiencing something we will never have to face—separation from God the Father as Jesus took on the sins of the world. “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46). While our sacrifices in caregiving may seem significant—altered careers, adjusted dreams, changed daily routines—they pale in comparison to Jesus’ sacrifice, yet they echo its pure motivation: love. And unlike Jesus’ moment of separation, we never face our sacrifices alone. He promises, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).
Caretaking: When Love Expects Nothing in Return
The nature of sacrificial love is that it’s offered without expectation of reward or even appreciation. Denny can’t verbalize a “Thank you.” His responses can pivot from joy to indifference to anger without explanation. But there’s something sacred about those moments when he’s content in his ‘Happy Place,’ listening to his music with a full cup of coffee.
Similarly, our relationship with God isn’t—and can’t be—about equal exchange. How could we possibly repay the sacrifice of his Son? Like Denny in his moments of contentment, we simply receive God’s unconditional love and let it flow through us to others. This is the beautiful paradox of divine love: it asks nothing in return, yet transforms everyone it touches.
In this light, Jesus’ words take on profound meaning: “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” (Matthew 25:40). When you help someone with their most basic needs, these words become a lived experience. Every act of care becomes an act of worship, every assisted task a prayer, and every cup of coffee a communion of sorts.
The world often measures love by what it gains in return. But true unconditional love—the kind Jesus modeled and the kind necessary for special needs care—gives without expectation. This selfless love serves without demanding recognition and persists without requiring reciprocation.
As I watch Denny enjoying his coffee in his glider swing, I’m reminded that love isn’t about what we receive in return. It’s about presence. It’s about seeing the image of God in every person, regardless of their abilities or limitations. It’s about giving freely, just as Christ gave to us.
Beyond Disabilities and Special Needs
While Denny’s physical abilities may be limiting, his spirit remains alive and responsive to God and others. He expresses empathy through his version of crying when witnessing sadness, whether in real life or on television. Since the passings of our mom and dad, he’s carried a laminated photo collage of them everywhere. Denny spontaneously raises his hands in worship at the end of a church service and gently hums during prayer. These moments show that while the world might see limitation, God sees a heart open to his Spirit. Genuine and unfiltered.
“The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).
Conclusion
In the end, unconditional love isn’t about grand gestures or perfect execution. It’s choosing to give, day after day, moment by moment, coffee cup by coffee cup, because love is who God is and who he calls us to be.
“We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19).
God’s love flows freely to us, not based on what we can do, but because of who he is. And perhaps, like Denny, we can all learn to raise our hands in simple praise, hum along in prayer, and find joy in being purely loved.
Your Turn
Where in your life is God calling you to demonstrate unconditional love? It might not be in caregiving, but perhaps in a challenging relationship, a difficult work situation, or an unexpected life circumstance. We can best image Jesus in the simple choices we make daily. Here are some practical ways to begin:
- Give without expecting recognition
- Look beyond physical limitations to see the heart
- Find holy moments in routine tasks
- Remember that every act of care can be an act of worship
- Trust God’s strength when yours fails
- Celebrate small victories and simple joys
My Scriptural Prayer for You
I pray you’ll experience the depth and width of God’s unconditional love today, knowing that nothing can separate you from his love in Christ Jesus. Rest securely in the truth that his love isn’t based on what you can do, but on who he is, for he is love itself.
In moments when your strength fails, may you experience his power being made perfect in your weakness. On the days that feel long and the tasks repetitive, may you find joy in knowing that whatever you do for the least of these, you do for him. When you feel depleted, may you draw from the truth that you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength.
I pray you’ll be renewed day by day through his Spirit, finding his strength and love everpresent.
(Romans 8:38-39, 1 John 4:16, 2 Corinthians 12:9, Mathew 25:40, Philippians 4:13, 2 Corinthians 4:16)
Resources
CAREGIVER’S PACKAGE – A bonus resource from Medicine for the Mess—a free monthly email newsletter focusing on finding God in life’s daily struggles. The caregiver’s package includes printable and shareable daily support for all who serve aging parents, little ones at home, special needs children, or ailing loved ones. Click the highlighted link for access to the package, newsletter, and more.
Same Lake, Different Boat: Coming Alongside People Touched by Disability by Stephanie O. Hubach
Caregiving with Grit and Grace: 100 Days of Hope and Encouragement – Wisdom and Refreshment for Every Season of Life by Jessica Ronne
We’re Stronger than We Look: Insights and Encouragement for the Caregiver’s Journey by Jill Case Brown
Aching Joy: Following God Through the Land of Unanswered Prayer by Jason Hague
About the Author
Cheryl Liberatore is the author of the Amazon best-seller, Healing or Homecoming: Finding God When Life Is in the Balance. In it, she shares her husband’s and daughter’s journeys with terminal cancer—one ending in miraculous healing and one leading to eternal homecoming. Cheryl continues to write from her home, where she cares for her severely handicapped brother. From her experience of God’s faithfulness during adversity, the God in the Mess ministry arose to encourage others experiencing hardships.
